Territorial Bloggings

In the interest of having a non-AI posting, here are some not-quite-random musings based on something that occurred to me recently…

In the course of cleaning my office area in a sub-basement of the palatial Schloß T.B., I realized that I’ve got a whole bunch of stuff. One might even say, you know, crap. And it got me to thinking…

I’m a bit of a pack-rat, although not quite as bad as I could’ve been, given some of the hoarding tendencies on the paternal branches of my family tree. I’m also given to bouts of melancholic nostalgia from time to time (from that same pesky side of the family tree…), and have been as far back as I can remember. Finally, I’ve always been fascinated by History, having majored in that as an undergrad. At least one out three ain’t bad.

Not surprisingly, I’ve got a lot of books. But I’ve also got a lot of other junk, like magazines, clippings, knick-knacks, keepsakes, LPs, 45s, cassettes, etc… that I’ve kept through various moves “just because”. I’ve weeded quite a bit out over the years, to be sure, because I’ve got an almost OCD-ish streak that kicks in every so often, wherein the clutter gets to me & I have to simplify & go a little more aesthetically ascetic (I get this from my Dad, right bigsis?).

Anyway, all this is prelude to my main musings.

Over the course of pondering & cogitating on why I keep so much stuff around, it gradually hit me — While related in a certain way, History & Nostalgia are two very different things. And I would, if only to be provocatively binary, posit that History is good, while Nostalgia is bad.

By which I mean simply that my collection of books is a positive thing to have & maintain, largely because it represents the aspect of civilization whereby we record significant things and then build analyses that help propel us forward to greater understanding. It’s an outward-focused orientation. It’s how we learn. It’s how we grow. It’s good.

Nostalgia, on the other hand, is more of an inward-focused orientation. It is represented in all of the other “stuff” that I’ve kept around in boxes. Boxes that, upon opening, cause me to get lost in the minutia of my very personal past. I dwell. I relive. I obsess. I analyze. To no significant end. It induces a “paralysis through analysis”. Rarely do these journeys into the past yield any grist for the future-building mill. It’s all about me. It’s all about the past. It’s bad.

I don’t want to slough of everything that is nostalgic in nature, mind you. Rather, I think this revelation can help me determine better what to keep & what to jettison. When I’m dead & gone, most (if not almost all, at the risk of overstatement) of what I’ve kept will not be of any real value or interest to my kids. A few things will, of course, be of great significance to them, just like there are a few things from my parents that will no doubt be of interest & significance to me. I’m just not convinced at this point that it will be even a significant minority of the things they’ve stored away.

Maybe I’m wrong, and someday I’ll regret this realization. Maybe not. At this point, though, I think I’m willing to take the risk…

-ghp

[HT: The Rebellious Pastor's Wife]

Deciding what to write can be a pain. I know I want to write. I even have lots of ideas about what to write during times of the day (and night) when I can’t write. Then, when the time & opportunity come to write, I seize up.

I want to be significant, or at the very least write stuff that’s perceived as significant. I want to be profound. I want to be entertaining. I want my blog to be visited & read. Ego & pride can be like that.

Unfortunately, I’ve also read quite a few “best practices” “how-to-build-a-ginormous-blog-readership” postings. Quite frankly, I’m not all that interested in being that disciplined.

While I’m not wanting to go and open up a vein, in terms of writing a full-disclosure, no-holds-barred blog, I do think it would be inadvisable, if not impossible, for me to try and wring my personality completely out of what I write & post, just so I can hit an arbitrary “marketing” target.

In some ways, the recent blog-pruning that I did wasn’t the best thing for me to do. I deleted a whole bunch of posts, which, while needing to be done, has resulted in my becoming a little too circumspect when I go to write new posts. I’m starting to run everything I write through a filter of “Gee… will I just be deleting this in a year or three? Maybe I just should cut out the middleman & not post it…” It doesn’t make that much sense, I know, but it can be how my mind works at times.

In line with that is being overly aware of who my “target audience” is/might/should be. Sometimes I think I should take greater care in appealing to some mythical “larger” audience out there. Other times I think I should just write for myself & possibly bigsis. And then there are always the thoughts about what happens if the “wrong” folks read the “wrong” thing, and I end up getting some hassle for something that I’ve written (e.g., about church, work, etc…).

In the end, I think that I’m just going to try to (once again) stay loose enough to write what I think, and write it well. I’m not writing the “Great American Novel” here, writing some great treatise of deep theological significance, or even writing something that has humor and/or redeeming value. I’m just writing my thoughts, and hopefully doing so in a well-crafted & cogent manner.

If I’m doing this just to be “liked” and/or “popular”, then maybe I should stop. It’s not worth it, because it’s not all that likely to yield such a result. If I’m doing it to be informative, at least in a “newsy” way, then I should probably stop as well. I’ve got a much better chance at being informative in a “this is what my take on this is” type of way. I’m neither a newsmaker, nor a newsbreaker. I do, however, have opinions (snarky and serious) about news that others make & break.

I don’t want to be a stereotypical “navel-gazing” blogger, but I’ve got to stop worrying so much about it. Such worry has no point. Besides, what’s the worst that could happen? Everyone stops reading? I would hope that my ego wouldn’t be that fragile.

-ghp

This is reasonably accurate. For the record, I was a History major…

-ghp

HT: Rev. Lehmann

I love visiting Fort Wayne, largely because it gives me (at the very least) the opportunity to drive through the campus of CTSFW. There is something about being on the campus of that seminary that I find almost indescribably sublime. It’s calming, comforting, & inspiring. (And if I make it into the bookstore, frustrating and/or costly!)

I’m drawn to it in such a way that I really do (I think) understand the allure of monasticism, or at least the desire to “escape the real world” and steep oneself in an environment that is (one would think/hope) more theologically & doctrinally safe/pure.

Now, I certainly know that it is still in & of this world, and that it’s still a place populated by sinners. It’s just that it feels like such a respite from the daily grind, such a safe haven, that it’s hard for me not to feel a certain sense of longing. At least for what it represents in my mind, anyway…

-ghp

Ah, the feeling of realized impending doom… I know it well.

On the positive side, these reruns of Peanuts truly do show the genius that Charles M. Schulz possessed — these strips hold up better than most contemporary comics page offerings!

-ghp

Some random musings, as I try not to feel utterly horrible on a sick-day at home…

I don’t like small talk. In fact, I detest it. This is something that is probably quite in line with my personality type (ISTJ in Myers-Briggs, with extreme introversion). I’m quite certain, however, that it’s caused me many problems over the course of my life & career, due to the fact that much of what passes for “success” and building relationships is dependent on schmoozing. With schmoozing being defined as often mindless pleasantries, the likes of which are sort of a social lubricant that keeps our interpersonal interactions functioning smoothly.

I just don’t like small talk, and have a low tolerance for it. I’d be willing to bet money that this has caused more than a few folks to view me as quite the arrogant so-and-so over the years. In actuality, it’s really more the fact that I’d prefer to be silent than to engage in the banal pleasantries, and not that I think that I’m better/smarter/whatever. (Disclaimer: truth be told, I am certainly more arrogant than I ought to be, but that’s not the primary driver in this particular case…)

When combined with my oft dark & sarcastic sense of humor, my introversion & distaste for small talk makes several things quite ironic, e.g., my serving on the board of elders at church, my fascination with the Seminary, and that I have a job in which I deal with people. I also know that it serves as a point of frustration for my lovely & long-suffering wife, as it’s a (most-likely) large factor in why our social life isn’t as, shall we say, robust as she might like it to be. (I, on the other hand, being my father’s son, am quite happy with the level of social interaction…)

The funny thing is, I don’t mind interacting with people when the interaction is substantive. This serves as a nice segue into my second musing…

There’s a dearth of informed, substantive discourse today. Over the course of a discussion on CAT41′s Table Talk email list, the following statement was made, to which I can add my strong agreement:

Whenever anyone makes a statement about what is edifying or best, you can predict as surely as the sun will rise tomorrow that it will be followed by a post urging “moderation” lest someone misconstrue it as legalism. Let’s have a real discussion about what people are actually saying rather than what we “feel” they may be heading toward.

You see, one of the things I want out of a Lutheran congregation is to have opportunities for real, substantive, theological discussions. Unfortunately, this is something that is darned near impossible to find and/or have on a congregational level, because so many folks are weakly and/or uncatechized on the basic fundamentals of Lutheranism. I’ve often stated that, if folks knew what they were affirming in our Confessions when they signed on to become members, they’d be completely & utterly aghast, as there’s no way that they’d ever want to be so “unloving,” “uncaring,” and “judgmental”! Our culture today is so relativistically tolerant, that it can abide nearly everything but a firm confession of absolute truth. This has resulted in good folks having been led astray. It has also yielded, as a result of contemporary American “evangelical” methobapticostalism, in folks who only want to engage theology on emotional and individual levels, and who will abide no discussion of absolutes that might offend.

The worst part is that these dear sheep have been led astray by ear-tickling undershepherds who have not only willingly abdicated their God-given responsibilities, but who have done so by twisting Scripture. These are people who (as I paraphrase from other recent TT discussion): can’t deal with God’s Word as God gave it. They have to change and “contextualize” God’s Word in order for it to “be meaningful”. Being the weak-of-faith sinner that I am, this drives me to despair when I try and think of how to deal with it in order to carry out the vocations to which I have been given, particularly as the head of my household and on the board of elders. I daily pray for the strength to not turn tail & take the coward’s way out, for that way (I’m ashamed to admit) looks to be far easier & more appealing…

Thanks be to God that He is faithful & just, graceful & loving — for I know that He will grant me the necessary strength, and will always keep me safe in His loving embrace.

-ghp

For some reason, I feel like writing today. Actually, I feel like writing most days, but I end up talking myself out of it for various & sundry reasons. Given what I do blog about, I sometimes think (‘worry’ might be too strong a word…) about the picture that folks who read my blog get about me. I mean, looking back at my entries, they make perfect sense to me because, after all, I have all the necessary context. But most all y’all (excepting perhaps big sis) don’t. So, I wonder about the possibility (or rather likelihood) that my bleatings on this blog are putting out a (and let’s be nice about this) slightly skewed version of who I am. I don’t think so, all things considered, as I think the general picture of me is/can be accurately distilled from reading what I’ve written here. It’s not enough to get the full 100% “ghp experience”, but it’s probably as close as most of y’all would ever want or need, knamean? But, as is often my wont, I digress — I’m really a sweet lovable Lutheran…

I should really try and blog during the moments just before I fall asleep in bed at night. For it is at those moments when I am the most creative and ambitious person alive! Really… if I lived my life with the creativity & resolve I feel during that time just before sleep, I’d be in tip-top shape, great health, and weigh less than 190 lbs. with nary the hint of type 2 diabetes or high cholesterol. Heck, I might even have a full head of hair! (prolly not, though…) I would have committed the Bible & Book of Concord to memory, and my children would be shining examples of well catechized little Lutherans. Yup, I’d be all that and a bag of brats (’cause chips are for those heterodox Anglicans, don’tcha know)!

But, alas and alack, I’m not the person of those last, waning moments of consciousness. When I wake up, I’m still the dumpy, overweight, prone to headaches/migraines guy with surprisingly little willpower, who generally finds ways to fall way short of where he really should be. For example, on a day like today, I feel the shame & guilt of not having gotten the family to church. For the third week in a row. Oh yeah, I’m the guy who should be on the board of elders, suuuuure… I’m a hypocritical wretch. I suck. Yet I’ll still be in Heaven someday, because God has given me the saving faith necessary to trust in my Baptism. I feel the daily assault of Satan, make no mistake about it, especially in the form of pietism and the oh-so-tempting idea that I can contribute something along and/or show just how good I am. Thankfully, God continually reaches down into the muck of my sin and cleanses me by drowning my old Adam in the waters of my Baptism.

So I’ve got that going for me, which is nice…

-ghp

Amy (Not Your Typical Pastor’s Wife) has a really good pair of posts (#1 & #2) dealing with the topics of why we blog, what we hope to accomplish by blogging, and the tone with which we do all of that.

I identify quite a bit with the ambivalence that Amy reports, as I’ve often wondered why I go to all of this effort. I’ve found her soul searching to be both interesting (in a voyeuristic sense) and useful (in an introspective sense), and I recommend it to you if you haven’t already read it. (Note: the posts are from 6/21 & 6/24, so I’m a bit late to the party… what can I say — I’m catching up on my blog reading… )

-ghp

Needless to say, I’ve always identified quite strongly with Charlie Brown (beyond having a hat-size 8 & bald noggin!).

Click on the thumbnail image (and bask in the AJAXy goodness!) to read a strip that encapsulates my identification with Chuck — anticipated improvement, dashed hope/expectations, and melancholia über alles…

-ghp