Territorial Bloggings

Yes, it’s time again to blahg. Cheap therapy for me. An easily skippable posting for you. Win-win. w00t…

Granted, I’m not in an overly depressive state of mind. The melancholia doesn’t have me that mired down (yet). I’ve just been in a dangerously contemplative state of mind. Not really dissatisfied with my lot in life, but neither all that satisfied. If you know what I mean (and I know you do, big sis…). Work is, well, work. It’s not easy. It’s not fun. It’s hard slogging through. I know that I”m not always doing things the right way, either in work arena, or in the personal arena (not the least of which is taking care of myself, fat, lazy, undisciplined schlub that I am…). It’s times like these where I am completely overwhelmed by identifying with that described by Paul in Romans 7:19.

I know some things that I need to do. I just need to get to doing them.

Even so, I know that I cannot do it all myself. The urge to take it all on me & my own actions is palpable & nearly overwhelming. Even as I despair in the assured failure of my inadequacies, I still feel compelled to repeatedly say to myself, “Self, not only can you do it all yourself, you must do it all yourself – it’s all about you & your willpower/gumption/fortitude!” It’s a vicious circle of wallowing in my own wretchedness…

Thankfully, Jesus doesn’t let me wallow & fester in that sinful morass. He grabs me. He cleans me. He daily reminds me of that day in January 1968 when He made me His own through water & the Word. He beckons me to the comfort that is found at the foot of His cross.

He gives me rest.

He won’t let me forget.

He will never abandon me.

He loves me.

He allows & enables me to trust.

He will gather me home.

Amen.

-ghp

Why is it that whenever something goes wrong in a person’s life or the life of a family, the first instinct even of Christians is to say, “You need to get some counseling” meaning, “You need to get therapy.”

The devil is outraged by absolution and the Lord’s Supper, basically, by the grace of God. He cannot stand to see Christians rejoicing in God’s grace or receiving absolution or forgiveness in the Lord’s Supper.

These quotes come from two recent posts by Rev. Beisel over at One Lutheran… Ablog!. These posts are quite good, and amazingly well-related (I’m not sure if Pr. Beisel intended the linkage, but it wouldn’t surprise me if he did, ’cause he’s good…).

I think that the second quote is a source reason for the first. More simply put, Satan attempts to drive us from the foot of the cross by convincing us that our problems are not a matter of our sinfulness, and, thus, confession & absolution aren’t needed; rather, we need to turn the focus inward onto what we can do to heal ourselves.

That’s not to say that many problems (say, mental illness) aren’t physical/medical, mind you — to do that would be foolishly ignorant. It’s more accurate to state, however, that we are constantly tempted to deflect the source of the problem away from ourselves at the same time that we try to usurp the authority to fix the problem.

C&A works. It’s God’s gift to us, because He loves us. Satan cannot abide that, and must try to subvert it by keeping us from it. Unfortunately, he’s been all too successful, as proven by the dearth of individual C&A in our congregations, and the number of worship services that have jettisoned even the corporate C&A.

-ghp

Despair is a horrible thing — I think we can all agree on that.

I’ve been in a particularly wretched mood today. The kind of a day & mood when every little thing is a struggle, even (especially?) when you know that it’s something that needs to be done. Going to church was a struggle, where only my obligation to “elder” was enough to get me there (though it wasn’t enough for me to properly execute my vocation as head-of-household, but like I said, it wasn’t the best of days…). The LORD more than made it worthwhile, graciously serving me with His gracious gifts via a faithful undershepherd’s execution of TLH p.15. There was also a reminder of how God gives us opportunities to serve our neighbors. Despite all that good stuff, I still felt Satan nipping at my heels…

Even as I was stuck in the wretched mood of, let’s be honest, despair, I still had a certain sense of detachment in which I was able to analyze it. To be honest, I wasn’t all that happy about the detachment, as it fed somewhat back into the loop, adding some feelings of guilt. It’s just how I am. But I digress…

My analysis was this: Perhaps the worst part of despair is that it is so selfish. At its worst, despair can drive someone to think/believe that others would be better off without them – we’ve heard/read examples of this time & time again. It’s almost always not true. In point of fact, however, that is merely selfish window dressing – it’s sin in the form of trying to rationalize a way to stop one’s own pain. Acting out of despair inevitably causes more pain that could ever be imagined. It ends up destroying not only the individual, but also those around the individual. That’s gotta be why it’s such a favorite tool of Satan.

Goodness knows that I eagerly anticipate God calling me home, for I am secure in the hope that Christ won for me on the cross. There are days where I struggle with what faces me in this life. And I don’t even have that difficult of a life… I’ve been incredibly blessed, but sin has a way of insinuating itself into the very fabric of our being, such that we willingly lose sight of that which God has so graciously given us.

The Psalms are a wonderful source of strength & solace during times of despair. They contain such powerful descriptions of joy & despair that it’s impossible not to find comfort in them. The Psalmist obviously felt the same type of almost manic highs & lows as I/we do. During moods like today’s, I can almost feel the old & new Adams in me battle in hand-to-hand combat. In the same thought, I can go from heart-bursting joy in God’s love for me (“Christ died that I might live” , shouts the new Adam) to soul-crushing guilt from being such a weak & cravenly selfish creature (“How dare I be so ungrateful in the face of God’s gracious Will – I’ll never be worthy!” retorts the old Adam).

I’m about done with trying to reasonably articulate all this right now. I’ll close by saying that I think one way out of funks like that which hit me today is to try to, in whatever small way possible, focus on helping someone else. One of Satan’s greatest tactics is getting us to turn ever more inward. God put us here to serve our neighbors.

Isolation is never a truly good thing. May God bless me by helping me to always understand that.

-ghp
(who, at the moment, is feeling better…)

So, I attended a sensitivity workshop yesterday. Working on a university campus, these things are unavoidable from time to time. And to be honest, it really wasn’t all that bad, especially compared to some that I’ve been exposed to at other places of employment. But I digress…

It was pretty standard “awareness-enhancing”/”diversity” type of stuff, but there was one exercise where I’m sure that my response raised some internal eyebrows. More specifically, we had to choose one of four things that we would least like our children to be. The choices? Drug Addict. Mentally Ill. Convicted Felon. Gay/Lesbian.

I was the only one that chose “Gay/Lesbian”…

Fortunately, I had a little time to come up with my reasons why, as we were required to give a brief explanation. Now, I think that I generally did ok with my explanation, but I’m not totally pleased in retrospect, especially as I would’ve liked to done a better job of preemptively addressing the implicit disapproval that was shown by the folks who felt the need to couch their answers by explicitly stating that they would (of course/obviously) have no problem if their kids were gay/lesbian.

I based my answer on two things:

1. Social - in our current culture being gay/lesbian is not an easy row to hoe, even though in many circles it’s very accepted. There’s still a lot of sinful behavior directed against gays/lesbians. Frankly, I wouldn’t want either of my kids to end up like Matthew Sheppard, or any of the other folks who’ve been beaten by misguided folks who thought that physical violence was an acceptable response.
2. Theological – I clearly stated that I also had theological/religious reasons for not wanting my kids to be gay/lesbian. For good/bad/right/wrong, I didn’t elaborate the reasons why, but just left it at the statement that I had strongly held, faith-driven reasons for my choice.

I wish I had been a little more explicit in better fleshing out my reasons/thought processes. Fortunately, as I have my own little forum here, I can do so now!

• The other three choices (drug addict, mentally ill, convicted felon) are all things that are generally recognized by most reasonable folks as things for which help can & should be provided. IOW, they are viewed as negative states that must be addressed.
• This is not the case with being gay/lesbian, if you are approaching it from a truly Biblical perspective — IOW, that which the Bible clearly shows to be sinful, is something that society increasingly views as ok & even to be celebrated rather than prayerfully addressed.
• There are (rightly) medical & support options for addicts & the mentally ill. We can, and must, be compassionate in helping these folks overcome these circumstances that result from our sinful condition. The same is true of rehabilitated felons — many folks realize that convicted (and rehabilitated) felons need help in rebuilding their lives.
• Society doesn’t give the same benefit to those whose lives are impacted by the sin that is homosexuality. I don’t want my kids to have society encourage their sinful tendencies any more than is absolutely unavoidable. I wouldn’t want them to be unnecessarily tempted by societal approval of over-drinking and/or over-eating, either.
• It doesn’t mean that I wouldn’t love my kids. I will always love my children. I may not always like them and/or their choices/responses, but I will always love them & try to faithfully execute my vocational responsibilities re: their spiritual well-being. That I wouldn’t want them to be gay/lesbian should never be misconstrued/misrepresented as a lack, or withdrawal, of love. Approval, possibly/certainly, but love, never.

I guess it largely boils down to this: Current “tolerance” & “sensitivities” seem to dictate that it is wrong (or at the very least ignorant) to view all four things as negative/unfortunate conditions that need to be addressed with compassionate support & concern for folks’ temporal & eternal well-being.

I pray that, should the opportunity present itself again, I’m able to more resolutely confess based upon that which has been given to me!

-ghp

Baa Baa Black Sheep is a great posting over at Living Stones, dealing with the concept of sacrificing for one’s faith. Thus, it also deals with the reality that Christians are called to take up their cross(es), and that this call in no way promises a life without pain & suffering while we are on this earth.

I must confess that I have never, to my knowledge and/or recollection, actually had to suffer for my faith. I don’t think I know what it means to have to truly sacrifice something as a result of the faith which I have been given. And for that I am truly thankful — God has blessed me, and I pray that He always continues to do so, right up until that time He calls me home.

If, however, suffering is brought to my life I pray just as strongly that I be kept steadfast in the one true faith, knowing that God will sustain me through any trial or tribulation. That no matter what sin throws my way, I will be kept safe in the protective embrace of that promised & delivered by the Word.

Amen!

-ghp