Territorial Bloggings

It’s so passe, or at the very least lame, to blog about not blogging, isn’t it? I guess it’s guilt that drives a blogger into the confessional, as it were, to purge & drive away the “shame” of not churning out the product (as if there’s a huge audience hanging on the sweet profundities put forth hereabouts…). It’s hubris, but as hubris goes it’s not that bad, I guess…

Anyway, as to why I’ve not been posting? It’s not because I’ve not had a whole lot of ideas bouncing around in my head. And I’ve certainly been reading a whole lot of good stuff at other folks’ blogs. And goodness knows I’d sure like to be cool like Frank (who’s been on fire lately – pun fully intended!) & snag an Issues, Etc. Blog of the Week award (talk about a selfishly lame reason for blogging!)

No, I’m gonna fall back on the old reliable “real life” (with a bit of laziness) excuse. It’s been busy, especially at work. This Fall semester has been particularly hectic for some reason, and it’s been exacerbated by the fact that I’m teaching a class for the first time, in addition to my “day job”. It’s only an online class, but it’s still presented a challenge to find the proper balance to get all the work done of managing the course in the online space, along with getting all of the grading & such done. It does help in some ways, however, that my day job is managing the staff that support the systems like the online course management system. Sometimes the cross-over has helped, sometimes it’s hindered; mostly it’s helped. I better figure it out, though, since I’m doing it again next semester…

Anyway, that’s why I haven’t been posting what I feel like is my usual/preferred mix of theology & pop-culture, with a bit of technology & other good stuff thrown in for good measure. I don’t want to struggle too much with the “why blog?” question, and I have lately. I’ve been over thinking it a little bit, perhaps worrying a bit too much about my “audience”, as I am wont to do from time to time. I’ve been doing this for just over 4 years now, and I think there are actually some folks who’ve been reading it for almost that long (if so, God bless you for your perseverance and good taste…). I think I’ve been pretty consistent, in that I try to write what interests me more than what I think people (i.e., a “targeted audience” so as to build numbers) want to read. If I target anyone, I guess, I target bigsis, because I crave her approval, and I would like to think that I can always entertain and keep her interested. Beyond that, I guess I wouldn’t want to say/write anything to get me in trouble with my beloved, now that she’s reading , and I wouldn’t want to write anything that would cause me grief at work.

Enough introspective time in the confessional. It’s time to go watch some TV. Heroes beckons…

-ghp

Something that I’ve been grappling with of late (for the last 9 months or so, actually) is the relationship between ambition and vocation, particularly as it relates to one’s individual career advancement and family obligations.

We are constantly bombarded with the idea & mantra that ambition is good, and that there really is no such thing as selfish, blind ambition (except, perhaps, in hindsight to ascribe blame/guilt). Job-hopping up the career ladder is no vice, even if it means uprooting home and hearth.

But does this conventional wisdom mesh with a Lutheran of the Doctrine of Vocation? I think not…

In my case, raw ambition would dictate a full-court press job search, so that I could show “proper progression” and get into a director-level job to have enough time to parlay that into a director-or-higher-level job somewhere bigger & better. And if I have to uproot the family, so be it.

Here’s the rub – to do that, I think I would have to seriously drop the ball on propery executing my vocations as father, husband, & head of household. My family likes where we are. The kids are getting old enough to have “roots”. And the only reason (at this moment) to think about leaving would be my ambition (vanity? selfishness?). And I just don’t think that it’s enough, at least not enough to warrant the type of full-bore search that I would’ve undertaken without a second thought even 5 years ago. It isn’t just about me anymore – not even to rationalize it such that “I need to be happy in order to make my family happy.” That’s true, but not necessarily in quite the way that raw, unfettered ambition would demand. Sobering thought.

So, what say you? I’d really like to hear your thoughts on the subject of ambition vs.vocation – help me out here with your collective wisdom!

-ghp

I admit it.

I willingly became a middle manager.

Heck, I even earned a Masters Degree (in Information Technology & Management, UNC-Greensboro, 2001) so that I could make it happen.

I made the Dilbertian bargain of foregoing specific technical expertise in order to become a generalist.

I had no idea, however, that it would largely be an exercise in psychology and personality management.

It’s really been quite the surprising thing to note, as I look back over the past 6 years, just how much time & effort I put into juggling the personalities of my staff, as well as that of my boss. The line staff tend to be (rightfully) very task focused/oriented. They’re focused on the micro picture, and often view problem solving through the prism of individual task/project requirements. My boss is (also rightfully) by comparison much more focused on things macro. The proverbial big, strategic, picture. And I’m the middle-management meat in between these two slices of bread.

Now, it’s not a bad thing, not really. But it is a bit frustrating at times, particularly when the two sides present goals, ideas, opinions, & preferences that are, at best, not aware of the other side’s and, at worst, in direct opposition to the other. IOW, a lot of the juggling comes in when those above me are focused on the macro movement of big, project-sized, pieces of what we do & where we want to go. They don’t want to be bothered with how it gets done. Until they do, that is… The staff below me almost inevitably views things in the micro sense, limited to the immediate tasks & how to complete them. Being told to do something in a certain way, especially when that clashes with their sense of “right” or “efficient”, well that takes a certain type of coaxing. What really makes it challenging is when those above are “Boomers” and those below are “Millennials” — commenting on refereeing between those two generations could fill a whole series of postings!

I’m not complaining, mind you. Not really. It is interesting to note that this type of “touchy-feely” stuff goes very much against my personality type. It’s always draining, often frustrating, but oddly satisfying. I ask God every day for the strength to be properly empathetic, sympathetic, and wise as I go about my daily tasks.

In any event, those of you who are middle managers, I think you’ll nod your heads in agreement. Those who aren’t, but are interested in it, be forewarned. Those who don’t care either way, well, I’m surprised you’re still reading this. ;^)

Interestingly enough, the biggest challenge coming up isn’t, I think, dealing with the aging Boomers – heck, I’ve been having to deal with them my entire life. I even sort of “get” them & where they’re coming from. No, it’s dealing with the kids who were born in the 80′s – the Millennials. I just don’t get them & what is going on inside their heads. I have theories as to why they are like they are (surprise! it traces back to the Boomers…), but expounding on them is fodder for future postings.

That’s enough for now.

-ghp

While the waiting might very well be the hardest part, I can now say that the finding out isn’t all that easy, either.

As might have been easily discerned, I was waiting on the results of a job search. More specifically on the results of being a finalist for a position that would’ve been a significant progression in my career trajectory (from the assistant director-level I’m currently at, to a director-level position).

I didn’t get it.

Which has been quite a difficult pill to swallow. Not (necessarily) because I’m unhappy where I am currently, but more because I believe that I’m ready to take the next step, career-wise, while also being at a point where it makes sense wrt family commitments to make a change, and because I really did like & want the position that I didn’t get.

That all said, I’ve been trying to take a more thoughtful & measured approach to my current situation, at least as it pertains to the doctrine of vocation. There is still work to be done where I’m at, and I need to remember that I’m here for a reason, and that I can very much serve my neighbor in positive, God-pleasing ways. It isn’t always easy or pleasant, but then I guess those were never really promised, were they?

I’m still going to keep my eyes & ears open for other positions, as I believe that doing so is a responsible thing to do, in terms of faithfully executing my vocations as husband, father, & head-of-household. I’m just going to have to try and avoid being too manic about it, so that I don’t make myself crazy.

-ghp

In many ways, it would be much easier to blog more prolifically (if not productively…) if I didn’t worry about hewing to my own self-imposed topical boundaries.

For whatever reason(s), though, I’m not comfortable writing about work topics. As a result, it’s preventing me from engaging in some “blogging-as-therapy” to hash out some of the vocational angst that I’m experiencing these days. Things like “ambition”, a “career”, determining the “best” course of action for self & family, etc… are just not all that much fun, when you get right down to it.

There are way too many days where the burden is heavy. Too heavy. Way too heavy.

God certainly blesses me with the strength to trust in Him, and the comfort that comes along with that blessing. I just wish things were easier and that the burden was lighter…

-ghp

[tags]

blogging, work

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Well, my busy travel season is about to start. I’ve been looking towards it with a mixture of anticipation and trepidation. I generally like the idea of traveling, at least when it’s not by car as I really don’t like driving for long distances all that much. Travel by air or rails can be quite enjoyable. But I digress…

Tomorrow, the Territorial Brood embarks on a jaunt to big sis’s neck of the woods for Saturday’s high-society nuptials of big sis’s daughter #2. It seems that the whole 07/07/07 date played a not insignificant role in driving this particular choice of date back a year+ ago. I might have figured 06/06/06, but you know me… (I kid because I love, big sis… ;^) ). Anyway, we have a nice suite at a Hilton, so the Territorial Redheads will have muy opportunity for pool time. And we’ve made arrangements for the Territorial Boston Terrier to be properly tended to, so we don’t have to worry about riding herd on his cute, but dumb, carcass. (Again, Hammie, I kid because I love…). I’m sure a good time will be had by all. I’m just amazed that big sis hasn’t taken it all that seriously or gotten all that stressed out by it. Oh. Wait. Never mind. (kidding, kidding…)

On Tuesday, I have a few meetings down in West Lafayette that could yield some interesting things. At least that’s only a 90 mile (one-way) drive, so it goes pretty quick.

Then, next week I leave on Saturday for my sojourn down to fair Houston. Texas and the LCMS in July. What’s not to like? I think that it’ll at least be an interesting adventure in terms of travel. And I’ll have my trusty MacBook Pro so that I can blog with impunity all along the way.

Who knows, I might even write well about some/most of all this. My ongoing, pipe-dream, goal is that I’ll embark on a plan of writing one good, solid paragraph every day. Yup, I dare to dream the impossible (or at least improbable) dream.

-ghp
[tags]convention, family, lcms, politics, writing, travel, weddings[/tags]

Yes, it’s time again to blahg. Cheap therapy for me. An easily skippable posting for you. Win-win. w00t…

Granted, I’m not in an overly depressive state of mind. The melancholia doesn’t have me that mired down (yet). I’ve just been in a dangerously contemplative state of mind. Not really dissatisfied with my lot in life, but neither all that satisfied. If you know what I mean (and I know you do, big sis…). Work is, well, work. It’s not easy. It’s not fun. It’s hard slogging through. I know that I”m not always doing things the right way, either in work arena, or in the personal arena (not the least of which is taking care of myself, fat, lazy, undisciplined schlub that I am…). It’s times like these where I am completely overwhelmed by identifying with that described by Paul in Romans 7:19.

I know some things that I need to do. I just need to get to doing them.

Even so, I know that I cannot do it all myself. The urge to take it all on me & my own actions is palpable & nearly overwhelming. Even as I despair in the assured failure of my inadequacies, I still feel compelled to repeatedly say to myself, “Self, not only can you do it all yourself, you must do it all yourself – it’s all about you & your willpower/gumption/fortitude!” It’s a vicious circle of wallowing in my own wretchedness…

Thankfully, Jesus doesn’t let me wallow & fester in that sinful morass. He grabs me. He cleans me. He daily reminds me of that day in January 1968 when He made me His own through water & the Word. He beckons me to the comfort that is found at the foot of His cross.

He gives me rest.

He won’t let me forget.

He will never abandon me.

He loves me.

He allows & enables me to trust.

He will gather me home.

Amen.

-ghp

So, I attended a sensitivity workshop yesterday. Working on a university campus, these things are unavoidable from time to time. And to be honest, it really wasn’t all that bad, especially compared to some that I’ve been exposed to at other places of employment. But I digress…

It was pretty standard “awareness-enhancing”/”diversity” type of stuff, but there was one exercise where I’m sure that my response raised some internal eyebrows. More specifically, we had to choose one of four things that we would least like our children to be. The choices? Drug Addict. Mentally Ill. Convicted Felon. Gay/Lesbian.

I was the only one that chose “Gay/Lesbian”…

Fortunately, I had a little time to come up with my reasons why, as we were required to give a brief explanation. Now, I think that I generally did ok with my explanation, but I’m not totally pleased in retrospect, especially as I would’ve liked to done a better job of preemptively addressing the implicit disapproval that was shown by the folks who felt the need to couch their answers by explicitly stating that they would (of course/obviously) have no problem if their kids were gay/lesbian.

I based my answer on two things:

1. Social - in our current culture being gay/lesbian is not an easy row to hoe, even though in many circles it’s very accepted. There’s still a lot of sinful behavior directed against gays/lesbians. Frankly, I wouldn’t want either of my kids to end up like Matthew Sheppard, or any of the other folks who’ve been beaten by misguided folks who thought that physical violence was an acceptable response.
2. Theological – I clearly stated that I also had theological/religious reasons for not wanting my kids to be gay/lesbian. For good/bad/right/wrong, I didn’t elaborate the reasons why, but just left it at the statement that I had strongly held, faith-driven reasons for my choice.

I wish I had been a little more explicit in better fleshing out my reasons/thought processes. Fortunately, as I have my own little forum here, I can do so now!

• The other three choices (drug addict, mentally ill, convicted felon) are all things that are generally recognized by most reasonable folks as things for which help can & should be provided. IOW, they are viewed as negative states that must be addressed.
• This is not the case with being gay/lesbian, if you are approaching it from a truly Biblical perspective — IOW, that which the Bible clearly shows to be sinful, is something that society increasingly views as ok & even to be celebrated rather than prayerfully addressed.
• There are (rightly) medical & support options for addicts & the mentally ill. We can, and must, be compassionate in helping these folks overcome these circumstances that result from our sinful condition. The same is true of rehabilitated felons — many folks realize that convicted (and rehabilitated) felons need help in rebuilding their lives.
• Society doesn’t give the same benefit to those whose lives are impacted by the sin that is homosexuality. I don’t want my kids to have society encourage their sinful tendencies any more than is absolutely unavoidable. I wouldn’t want them to be unnecessarily tempted by societal approval of over-drinking and/or over-eating, either.
• It doesn’t mean that I wouldn’t love my kids. I will always love my children. I may not always like them and/or their choices/responses, but I will always love them & try to faithfully execute my vocational responsibilities re: their spiritual well-being. That I wouldn’t want them to be gay/lesbian should never be misconstrued/misrepresented as a lack, or withdrawal, of love. Approval, possibly/certainly, but love, never.

I guess it largely boils down to this: Current “tolerance” & “sensitivities” seem to dictate that it is wrong (or at the very least ignorant) to view all four things as negative/unfortunate conditions that need to be addressed with compassionate support & concern for folks’ temporal & eternal well-being.

I pray that, should the opportunity present itself again, I’m able to more resolutely confess based upon that which has been given to me!

-ghp

As I mentioned a week ago, I was out of town for 3 days. It’s always nice to get out of the office, and getting out of the house on the company dime ain’t too bad either…

However, I am most certainly a creature of habit. I thrive on the routine of day-to-day life. I’ve taken enough personality assessments/instruments (Myers-Briggs, Kirton-Adaptive, etc…) to know that my personality definitely trends towards the introverted, introspective, as well as the aforementioned affinity for routine.

Thus, I was quite happy to get back home last Friday evening.

And, more to the point of this post’s title, I was happy to get back to work this morning.

Even though I had quite a bit of catching up to do, and there are always the little things that annoy throughout the day; however, as I drove home this evening, I was struck by the strong sensation that I really like my job. I like what I’m doing, the folks I work with, and the place I work at. Not that everything (or everyone ) is perfect, mind you — there are always things that could be better/nicer/easier (and I would include myself in that assessment… ).

But even in light of that, I’m still far more fortunate than I deserve — I’ve been well & truly blessed — and for that I’m thankful. I’m also thankful that I’ve been able to learn about the doctrine of vocation — it’s truly cool to understand how God intends our daily work to benefit our neighbors, and how their work benefits us.

Well, that’s enough navel-gazing for now — I need to play a little Civ4 before putting the kids to bed & watching The Apprentice…

-ghp